Not Janetta Loke, however.
The 43-year old who hails from Bandar Utama in Petaling Jaya, Selangor, considers disability as a direct blessing from God.
“Baby Lim has been nothing but a positive force ever since he came into our lives three and a half years ago,” she told Wheel Power with a big smile last week.
“In fact, he came into my life at exactly the right time when I desperately needed to learn about some finer points in life,” she adds.
Loke says that she was a workaholic and thought about nothing else except to earn money when God gave her Baby Lim at the right time.
“He taught me some very important lessons on motherhood as well as to where to put my priorities in life,” Loke points out.
Although it is never easy to look after a toddler who requires 24-hour care, Loke has learnt over the years to take it in her stride.
Baby Lim has multiple disabilities. He has two cysts in his brain and spine that for the time being cannot be removed because it can be life-threatening for the child.
Doctors have diagnosed his condition as myopathy. Baby Lim also has a hole in his heart as well as epilepsy.
Loke who currently works part time in Kuala Lumpur says she has hardly any time to do anything else when she returns home.
Despite this, all her attention given to Baby Lim is paying off, she says proudly.
Her child was unable to sit up until two months ago. He is also learning to stand up a little.
“I am delighted that he is able to recognise the roads to his special school and the government hospitals that I take him each week for his therapy,” beams Loke.
“When Baby Lim doesn’t like something – like going to school, for example, he would scream out loud and throw tantrums about it when we arrive to our destination,” Loke explains.
“He is particularly popular at the hospitals, though. He will pick out which doctors he likes and dislikes,” she adds.
Those that he doesn’t like will get to see his tantrums.
Loke, however, is glad by his display of his feelings. It shows the boy’s progress in being able to express what is inside of him.
“What is most rewarding for us is his ability to understand what dad and mum says,” Loke points out.
“He is increasingly able to express his thoughts and emotions – something that the doctors initially suggested may not be possible.
“For instance, he will start yelling unhappily when I start telling dad the naughty things that he had done on a particular day.
“He has certain sounds and expressions for each emotion – something that only we as parents and his caregivers understand.”
Loke says that having Baby Lim has taught her much about disability.
And she wishes that others would realise the special circumstances of mothers with disabled children too.
“For instance, during festive seasons like this coming Chinese New Year, some people may wonder why a person like me is not as enthusiastic about buying new things or decorating or painting our houses for the event.
“That’s chiefly because parents with disabled children don’t have the leisure to do much of that because we have to take care of our special children.
“We have little choice but to work to get the extra money needed to look after our disabled kids.
“Sometimes even when I use the disabled car park, people think I’m misusing it because Baby Lim’s disabilities are not as obvious physically.
“Nowadays I just put his disabled identification card on the dashboard to avoid any confusion from the security guards or the public.”
Another problem that Loke often face are inaccessible buildings and restrooms – many of them even in hospitals.
The restrooms are not designed in a comfortable way where we can change the diapers of our children when they are soiled. Even for some of those that are available; are not designed for handicapped children.
Baby Lim and his parents would like to wish all readers of Wheel Power a happy Bunny New Year.
In addition to prosperity and good health, they wish that the lunar occasion will bring more understanding not only to people with disabilities but also to their families and caregivers too.
The End
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